An ode to friendship

I've been blessed with some wonderful friendships in my life. This past weekend I was reminded of some of those friendships that started while in college and it got me thinking...

I've had friends that I've grown up with. There are people in my life still today that I played youth soccer with. At the same time, some of my strongest friendships are just a few years old. People have come into my life at the right moments. Some of them have stayed a while, some have made a brief appearance, and some show up every now and then and then disappear again.

It's a funny song and dance and it's only recognizable when you stop and think about those friendships. My longest and strongest friendship seems to be tested by distance but rarely ever argument. Others have consisted of a lot of arguing in a short period of time. Some friendships are based on remembering good times. Others are built from going through the trenches together.

I've never been one of those people who need a group of people surrounding them. I would much rather have intimate conversation with one or two. My travelling has put some friendships on hold, and there are some that will probably be left in the past, but that doesn't mean you aren't my friend.

There's an argument that's often used when it comes to friendships: if it matters, then a person will make time for it.

But I'd like to debunk this argument...

There are people in my life who have mattered to me beyond their knowledge whether it be because they taught me something, or because they believed in me, or because they were just an ear that would listen when I needed it. There have been long friendships in my life that haven't meant as much to me as some brief relationships that may have ended because of distance or something else out of my control. Just because I haven't spoken to you in weeks or months or years, doesn't mean you don't matter to me. Just because I don't call you or text you, or because you may not get an invitation to my wedding or be a part of my children's lives, doesn't mean that you aren't my friend.

I don't think there needs to be an apology linked to not keeping in touch. Life goes on and people get busy. I'm not offended by the lack of contact, because I know that if we had a friendship at one time or another, then we mattered to each other then.

I guess what I'm trying to say is... friendships, more than any other relationship, should be fluid and permissible. There need not be judgment or malice put onto someone because a relationship has changed. The best friendships are those that can be picked up right where they are left off and the best feeling is hugging someone you haven't seen in years and knowing that you matter to that other person.

What I'm Feeling Friday

It's April 25 and it feels like mid-March. I'm ready for consistent warm weather already! Geesh!

Last weekend we had a wonderful surprise party for my Grandpa's 75th birthday. It was great to see him celebrate with pretty much the entire town of Scottsville. We then got together for Easter Sunday at my grandparents'. It's always nice to catch up with family and see how much the little cousins have grown up. I was also happy to spend some quality time with Dave, who came for a visit. He is busy with school and police officer tests so it was nice to stop time for a minute and enjoy our time together.

This Friday, I'm feeling....

God's Not Dead

Dave and I took a chance on the movie God's Not Dead. Since it was the Easter season, we felt it was more than appropriate. Though the acting was a little suspect, the message of the movie was refreshing. There are so many stories in the news about people being shut down or fired or worse because they might believe something that is not considered 'mainstream.'. The movie voiced the message of standing up for what you believe in, whether it be religious, political, moral, etc. I would recommend the movie to those who are looking for something challenging or something spiritual. It certainly makes you think!


Old school music - Elton John

My parents would argue this isn't exactly 'old school', but I've been listening to Tiny Dancer and Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters on repeat.


Sorority sisters!

This weekend I'm looking forward to catching up with old friends at Delta Phi Epsilon Alumni Weekend!

My sorority experience was everything I needed it to be

This weekend my sorority, Delta Phi Epsilon, is celebrating Alumni Weekend. Dozens of alum will return to SUNY Geneseo and live a weekend away from grad school, work, and/or motherhood and celebrate like we are all 21 again.

Sororities, and fraternities for that matter, get a bad rap in the so-called 'real world'. Stories of partying, alcohol poisoning, hazing and unsanitary living conditions make the organizations seem immature and uneducated. I get it.

Nowadays, I tell people I was in a sorority and I get "Really?! I would never pegged you as a sorority girl." I guess my time as a "sorority girl" has blurred the lines. I'm not really sure how to peg someone as a "sorority girl", simply because I met so many different kinds.

My time in Delta Phi Epsilon was exactly what I needed it to be. At a time in my life when I had stopped playing soccer, left behind high school friendships, and was suffering from a broken heart, Delta Phi Epsilon was there for me. Without getting too mushy, my sorority experience was anything but negative. It was a support system, a social calendar, a study group, a late night taco bell run with friends.

Unlike the stereotypical sorority, I belonged to a group of very diverse individuals. No, I didn't get along with all of them, but put a group of 70-some people together, and naturally some people jive better than others. There were athletes, nerds, party-ers, work-out-a-holics. There were girls I'd see at every event and some I would only spot at mandatory events. They are blondes and brunette. Tall and short. Skinny and curvy. Different races. Different sexual orientations. And we were all brought together because we wanted to be part of something. Each one of my sisters took their own experiences out of Delta Phi Epsilon, and even today, I watch girls carrying on the traditions, and making the sorority what they need it to be.

I was never hazed. We had to go through a six week "pledging" period in which we learned about the history, philanthropies, and beliefs of the sorority. We also spent this time getting to know everyone that belonged to the sorority. We learned our lineage and about the founders who started it all. Yes, we have secret handshake and a saying. Yes, we spent mandatory hours in the library and wearing silly costumes on bids nights, and that's about as far as bad as our pledging got.

Back in the day, I enjoyed my Friday and Saturday (and Wednesday and Thursday) nights like anyone else. But my favorite part of Delta Phi Epsilon was Sunday afternoons at chapter. Every week we would meet to discuss the goings-on in the sorority. It was at these meetings where I felt like I was apart of something bigger. There were traditions that had been set into place for years that are still followed today.

I met girls through DPhiE that I never would have had I not decided to pledge. I've attended weddings for these girls and have continued friendships with them four years after graduation. I've introduced these girls to my family and to David, and even to Juneau. :)

Some people look at sororities as a false way to get friends. Why pay dues to meet people? I guess that's one way of looking at it. But for me, it was an existing group of people that had the same need as me: to belong. Yes, we drank, and dated frat boys, and there were probably a fair share of cat fights, but we were/are a family and will have a bond that will always bring us back to those hilarious and life-changing years at SUNY Geneseo.

Yits, Deephers! And Happy Alumni Weekend.

Take risks, be spontaneous, and do what you love

Being a blogger is by far the most rewarding thing I've ever done in my life. The outpouring of support I have gotten since I announced that I want to blog for a living has been so amazing.

It plays right into my personality, too. I am not a planner by any means. I enjoy being spontaneous and taking risks. When Dave and I decided to move from Indy it was a matter of 5 days between deciding and doing. We packed, figured out our lease, said goodbye to friends, and drove 10 hours all in a matter of 5 days. Planning is just not us. When we say we are going to do something, we usually just do it. Sometimes it works out well, and sometimes it doesn't. But every adventure has been totally worth it.

Like, remember that time we moved out to Albuquerque? How many people warned us about it? How many people questioned our destination? Did it work out? Not really... but let me ask you this... have you ever moved halfway across the country, just to do it?

It happens every morning when I go to write a blog. I think I know a topic I'm going to write about, and then it changes. I have about 4 unfinished blog posts in my queue that have yet to be written. I can't plan what I'm going to write... I just write.

I guess I come from a family of risk takers. My mom went back to school while also raising three daughters under the age of 10 to pursue her dream of becoming a teacher. My dad decided to leave college to buy a business he has now been at for over thirty years. My older sister, Emily, moved to Germany for several years where she also met her now husband, Shane. My younger sister, Sarah, took a job with a company right out of college that moved her to Virginia Beach then to San Antonio without ever visiting those cities.

Now, more than ever, is a time to take risks. Roles are changing. Women are no longer expected to raise kids and cook dinner. People change careers dozens of times throughout their life. Entrepreneurs and small business owners are popping up everywhere.

There will be a time in my life when I will settle down, have kids, and traveling will mean going on family vacations. But for now, I'm taking risks. I sometimes find myself envious of my peers who have already settled down, gotten married, and have career jobs. But lately, I find myself lucky that I have had the adventures that I have had.

So here's some advice, you can take it or leave it... but it's what I got.

1. Live with intention.
2. Trust your faith.
3. Be spontaneous and take risks. Planning is overrated.

Quote of the week

Found this one spray painted on a bridge in downtown Rochester.

What does it take to make a gravestone? More than you might think...

Trying to describe what my dad does for a living is quite the challenge. In fact, when I was little, I used to tellpeople that my dad worked for dead people. (Fortunately, my mom is a teacher, that's a lot easier to explain). 

For years, my sisters and I have been working for him. Usually we were doing data entry, secretarial tasks, or walking cemeteries looking for stones. Yes, walking cemeteries. We have a joke in our family that a vacation isn't complete until we visit the local cemetery. 

My dad owns a company called John H. McGee & Son where he designs and sells headstones. Basically, his job is to work with families who have lost loved ones to design a monument that will be placed at their grave. He has also done other projects like granite clocks, plaques, etc.

It's a very niche industry and pretty complicated to explain to an outsider. But it's ingrained in my family. My aunts and uncles tell stories about digging graves and mowing cemeteries when they were growing up.In fact while other kids were breaking arms on the playground, my Aunt Jo shattered the bones in her leg helping my dad set a stone and I broke my pinkie racing my sisters at Pine Hill Cemetery. My parents' and my grandparents' yards are scattered with old headstones. My grandpa owns a cemetery service company that does things like setting stones and digging graves. 

Last week, my dad took a local funeral director to Barre, Vermont to show him the process of making a monument. I was able to tag along. I had been there countless times before, but at 26 I can appreciate the process much more than a moody 13-year old.

Barre is a small quarry town that sits just south of the capital city of Montpelier. The granite quarries provide work for many of the locals. A company called Rock of Ages quarries the granite and distributes it to manufacturers in the Barre, Vermont area. Then retailers like my dad's will buy from the manufacturers. 

The granite quarries in Barre, Vermont are the best granite in the world. It is durable and will weather the elements for hundreds of years.

Blocks of granite are quarried from the top of the mountains surrounding Barre. 

When we visited, there was about 5 feet of frozen ice at the bottom of the quarry.

  The tall poles are called derricks. They act like cranes and carry large blocks of granite out of the hole.

The large blocks of granite are bought by the manufacturers, in this case, a company called Buttura & Gherardi.

The large blocks are sawed into slabs of granite.



The newly sawed granite slabs are stored in the saw plant waiting to be polished.

Once the monument arrives, companies like my grandpas', or even people like my dad, will set the monument in the cemetery. If a new inscription is needed in the future, sandblasters are able to do that in the cemetery without having to send it back up to Vermont. 

The entire process is fragile and intricate. There are around 50 skilled workers who work with the granite at Buttura & Gherardi. My dad and his employee, Matt, are able to design with Monu-Cad in house, which takes years of experience. On top of all of that, my dad is a salesman, which in this industry, can be a sensitive task, too.

So next time you see a cemetery, think of the amount of work that goes into the memorials that you see. Cemeteries shouldn't get such a bad, creepy, rap... they should be marveled at.

What I'm Feeling Friday!

Another slow blogging week, but progress is slowly being made on the new site!

This week I'm feeling:

The Academy of Country Music Awards

Is there anything better than country music? I love watching their award shows, too, because the community of country singers is so genuinely supportive of one another. Plus, it's less of an award show and more of a huge concert. Although Taylor Swift went home empty handed, it was a nice couple hours spent on the couch with Mom, making fun of Rascal Flats and ogling Blake Shelton. Plus, I love his new song!



Face Time

Thanks to the invention of Face Time, I'm able to see David every day and he's able to see Juneau :) Plus, he is up visiting next week through Easter! Counting the days!

Nice Weather

Finally!

Roadtrips


This week my dad and I took a local funeral director up to Barre, Vermont to show him exactly what goes into making a headstone. I am working on a blog about the process, which is actually super interesting. It was nice to see another part of the country. Although I have been up to Vermont countless times, it's been about ten years since I traveled up that way. It was about 20 degrees colder in Vermont than even in Rochester, but we came back to a beautiful 70 degree day. And I'm also feeling my Dunkin Donuts this week, cause when you travel with Don Rath, you're up before the sun.

Quote of the week

What I'm Feeling Friday

Happy Friday everyone! It's been a long week. I started working out... again, but this time I'm trying to keep it positive. Working out should be part of my everyday life, so I'm trying to think of it as a priority. I met up with my good friend and sorority sister, Michelle Bub Fisher, who got married in December. What do you do when a friend that you call by her last name changes it? She will always be Bub to me!

This week, I found a few new things that I wanted to introduce to you!

The Right Reasons Podcast

I've been listening to The Right Reasons for a while now, but haven't talked about it here. It is a reality television podcast that covers all kinds of shows including The Real World and Naked and Afraid. Juliet Litman and David Jacoby work for Grantland.com, which is a subsidiary of ESPN run by Bill Simmons. The two of them crack me up. Juliet is a Northwestern grad, and I'm assuming she went to school for journalism, because her online stalker skills are on point. She knows everything about everyone on every reality show. David Jacoby is equally as hilarious, and their humor is so intelligent. I highly recommend it, that is, if you enjoy reality TV as much as me!

Mad Men

I finally pressed the play button for Mad Men on Netflix, and I'm presently surprised. I was expecting a good show since I'm a fan of other AMC shows (ie. Breaking Bad and The Walking Dead) but I am much more intrigued by the characters than I thought I would be. The early 1960s setting is an untapped period of time as far as what I watch on TV. From the costumes to the story lines to the patriarchal society, I really like this show!

Entirely Erica

Yesterday I bought the domain name entirely-erica.com! I'm super excited about designing my blog. For now, I will still be blogging here but in the weeks to come I will soon have a fresh new blog to share with all of you!

Have a wonderful weekend!

The ultimate workout playlist

I've done it! I've created the ultimate workout playlist. This bad boy is years in the making but last night as I was completing my 30 minutes on the elliptical, I realized that all of my downloading, adding, subtracting, Google-ing and shuffling had paid off. I found the perfect compilation of songs to work out to.

Disclaimer: I'm one of those people who like inspiration while working out. I'm not into rap nor do I need a decent beat. I like the lyrics to motivate me.

Without further ado, here is my ultimate workout playlist:

1. All the Above - Maino featuring T-Pain
2. Fall Down - will.i.am featuring Miley Cyrus
3. Work Hard, Play Hard - Wiz Khalifa
4. My Songs Know What You Did In the Dark (Light Em Up) - Fall Out Boy
5. Survivor - Destiny's Child
6. Beautiful Every Time - Lee Brice
7. Brave - Sara Bareilles
8. The Man - Aloe Blacc
9. Roar - Katy Perry
10. Airplanes - B.o.B featuring Hayley Williams
11. Ashes - Embrace
12. Change - Taylor Swift
13. Defying Gravity - Wicked
14. Stronger - Kanye West
15. Heart of a Champion - Nelly