It's a strange feeling when you grow old enough to look back at high school and college as a fond memory. It's like you are finally old enough to recognize memories and recall how a certain point in your life felt. I have always been the type of person who dwells on certain events and I hang on every word people say. My boyfriend may say I think too much, but I think it takes a good writer to be able to recognize the little details in life. I don't remember grand events, I remember the little things... and I think the little things make me even more emotional than the average bear.
This past week my older sister announced her engagement to her soon-to-be husband, Shane. Although she told me weeks ago, I don't think the reality hit me until my parents found out and I looked at my dad, and he was glowing. He then took a deep breath and said, "Wow, one of you is getting married and the other one is moving across the country. OK" as if he needed to think about it all out loud, as if it was a little too much.
When I write, especially entries like this one, I throw my iTunes on and shuffle through the songs until I find one that will make me cry my eyes out. Today, thinking about how time has flown, how my older sister is getting, about how I will live 3,000 miles from my family, and about how my little sister is a senior in college, I can't stop crying. I even turned on "Backstreet's Back" and it reminded me of playing in my cousin's basement as young kids and another loud sniffle came out.
Change has always been my biggest enemy. It seems to creep up on me and instead of letting me process everything going on around me, it hits me like a big truck. It makes me feel torn between the world of was and the world of what is to be. It's impossible to live at home and have Mom cook me wonderful vegetarian meals, and, at the same time, move to New Mexico and live a life I never dreamed I would. I think Blink 182 said it best... I guess this is growing up!
Congrats Emily and Shane! I love you both!
