An ode to friendship

I've been blessed with some wonderful friendships in my life. This past weekend I was reminded of some of those friendships that started while in college and it got me thinking...

I've had friends that I've grown up with. There are people in my life still today that I played youth soccer with. At the same time, some of my strongest friendships are just a few years old. People have come into my life at the right moments. Some of them have stayed a while, some have made a brief appearance, and some show up every now and then and then disappear again.

It's a funny song and dance and it's only recognizable when you stop and think about those friendships. My longest and strongest friendship seems to be tested by distance but rarely ever argument. Others have consisted of a lot of arguing in a short period of time. Some friendships are based on remembering good times. Others are built from going through the trenches together.

I've never been one of those people who need a group of people surrounding them. I would much rather have intimate conversation with one or two. My travelling has put some friendships on hold, and there are some that will probably be left in the past, but that doesn't mean you aren't my friend.

There's an argument that's often used when it comes to friendships: if it matters, then a person will make time for it.

But I'd like to debunk this argument...

There are people in my life who have mattered to me beyond their knowledge whether it be because they taught me something, or because they believed in me, or because they were just an ear that would listen when I needed it. There have been long friendships in my life that haven't meant as much to me as some brief relationships that may have ended because of distance or something else out of my control. Just because I haven't spoken to you in weeks or months or years, doesn't mean you don't matter to me. Just because I don't call you or text you, or because you may not get an invitation to my wedding or be a part of my children's lives, doesn't mean that you aren't my friend.

I don't think there needs to be an apology linked to not keeping in touch. Life goes on and people get busy. I'm not offended by the lack of contact, because I know that if we had a friendship at one time or another, then we mattered to each other then.

I guess what I'm trying to say is... friendships, more than any other relationship, should be fluid and permissible. There need not be judgment or malice put onto someone because a relationship has changed. The best friendships are those that can be picked up right where they are left off and the best feeling is hugging someone you haven't seen in years and knowing that you matter to that other person.